The Perks Of Being Insane
by Death.X.By.X.Chocolate
Summary: "To my dear friend, Finnick..." Inspired by 'The Perks of Being a Wallflower', a series of letters written from Annie to Finnick after Annie's games in a series of events that not only bring them closer to become 'Annick' but breaks Annie's mind further as she remembers her blurry unfortunate past. Rated T for murder references.
1. Part One

My friend was showing me 'The Perks of Being a Wallflower' book and I flipped through the pages, she summarized it for me (She mentioned there were M rated stuff) and I don't know why she was reading it and then I got the idea. What if Annie and Finnick got close through a series of odd letters? Like Charlie wrote to Friend.

I present 'The Perks of Being Insane'. I do not own anything, I repeat. Anything.

Part One

_August 12, XX71_

To my dear friend, Finnick,

I honestly do not know when you will get this letter, probably when the Capitol mail deliverer person gives it to you. Anyway, Finnick, you and Mags are my only companions here, and so I will write to you since Mags refuses to reply unless I talk to her in the flesh. Which Fiske has advised me not to do. Did you know he was still alive? And talking to me? Well, he wrote what he wants to say to me at least on pieces of paper which I find near myself.

So anyway Finnick, I have finally calmed down slightly although, my house is still locked up from the inside and I still leave the food that Mags have left for me on my porch to rot. The glowing people don't bother me as much as they used too, at least they have stopped walking through walls but Fiske is still making jokes for me.

Despite missing a body part... He manages to tell me that he still can't locate his head, I have tried helping him look for it outside during the dark nights when we go grave digging through past tributes graves, but it doesn't seem to be there in his box. Please help me find his head in the Capitol, Finnick. Perhaps it is in the arena still; please ask your tribute to help me find it. Please, Finnick.

Oh, and Fiske has also requested me to tell you he hates you for letting him die in the arena, but he says it's alright because I won for our district. And he says he's much better off as a glowing person. Or ghost as he said it. He's alive though, I know he is.

From Annie

_August 23, XX71_

To my dear friend, Finnick,

It surprises me how quickly you have replied me and thank you for telling Mags to stop leaving food for me as the wild flesh-eating animals have stopped camping outside around my home and have finally left. I am sorry that Ripple was brutally blown up into blood and meat before he could find Fiske's head (I have heard some Victors talking about it outside my house). Fiske says it's okay as he tried at least. But maybe next year we can look for his head.

Over this week I have begun a new habit, cradling in the corner to myself. The glowing people have found a new way to scare me again; I believe it is Monique's idea. She always was satan-like, even in the arena when they stole Fiske's head. But of course, you should also remember that. You were his mentor after all. But I still remember I was so frightened after Fiske's chopping but he's still here, most of him that is. But Fiske's still here, Finnick. And he said that Monique was behind all the scary dreams. Why does she hate me so much?

But something odd happened. The dreams were coming back, the ones of me in the Hunger Games.

Last night, I dreamed that I was back in the arena, but the water was red, just like blood. But only it was really blood. The hands that I remember going so quickly below reached out and grabbed me from below. They then pulled my under, it felt so real. So cold, I had awakened to find myself cradling my body and whimpering to myself as I cried, but I was fine, because I knew it was all over at least.

It had to be. But the house was quiet.

Cold... And I knew it was another nightmare. The tributes from my games surrounded me, and in the middle of them were Monique and Casper, but horriblely they began stabbing Fiske's head that they held in their hands.

Just like the games.

I tried to stop them but I couldn't move and I just screamed. And screamed… never did I want to go back. Never did I want to experience everything all over again. But I could.

I am writing this with all my will power right now, I am sorry for the messy handwriting as my hand is shaking and for all the tears as my eyes water from remembering the deaths but I feel my head lightening and I fear I shall soon faint very soon after I send this to you. Hopefully you will get it before I do faint, Finnick.

From Annie

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A/N: These Parts are short since the original book was only eight parts. So I'm following the format.


	2. Part Two

At first I was disappointed that nobody seemed to be reviewing until I saw the followers and favourite thing. I'm smiling. Thank you my followers and the people who have added this to their favourite's list. You keep me happy.

I do not own anything.

Part Two

_October 03, XX71_

To my dear friend, Finnick,

Welcome back from the Capitol, I hear that we have lost this year to an eighteen year old Johanna Mason, but nevertheless I know you have visited me during my coma and time in the hospital. Mags and some other Victors had broken my door down and brought me here, and it has been exactly two months since they had brought me. And now today I have finally been released, the doctor told me I was in a mental state. He asked me if my childhood was painful. I honestly don't remember. The doctor is worried that I was already in this state since I was a child, but the games must have pushed my insanity further.

Fiske was making jokes in the hospital while I was with the doctor. It was funny. But the doctor didn't get it since he couldn't see Fiske, but not anymore!

"What's the matter?" The doctor had asked me.

Fiske had been making bunny ears behind his head and showed jazz hands around him. I just couldn't stop laughing; the doctor repeated the question until I finally told him. "Fiske's just fooling around behind you," I tell him, he looked slowly behind him at Fiske but he acts as if he saw nothing.

"Fiske, as in your district counterpart last year?" He asks me carefully with that calm low voice of his.

"Yep, he's right behind you." I tell him before I start giggling again, he begins writing something down, he must be clarifying that Fiske is alive.

After that, the doctor asked me if I saw other people so I told him about Monique and Casper, and the others I saw once in a while. He let me leave after that, but I stayed until the night before I left. I passed your house, and I saw your parents and family having a great time with you home, you are truly lucky.

But Fiske still wants you to try and find his head next year in the arena.

From Annie

_October 29, XX71_

To my dear friend, Finnick,

I have found it; I have finally found Fiske's head. It is locked up in the head peace keeper's office for some unknown fact. But I found it in an odd turn of events while I was visiting the doctor for my advised checkup.

I and my doctor were walking when he asked if it was okay to do something for the clinic. I didn't mind and we went to the head peace keeper's office to confirm the new security system for the hospital when I walked over to his cabinet because I had seen something that had caught my eye.

"What is she doing?" He had asked my doctor.

My doctor shrugged but he continued filling out a paper. The cabinet was filled with many items from fish parts to human eyes. "They're trophies to me." A gruff voice said behind me, I turned to see the man. He was tall, scary and I'm sure you have seen him many times. I thought they were just novelties that he must have bought but then Fiske walked up to the cabinet and his arm pointed at a particular jar. I turned my attention to it. "I see you've seen my greatest prize," He told me.

"What is it?" I asked him. I pressed my eyes to the glass and then I saw it. A head. I screamed, I screamed ever so loud I made the windows shake a bit. The doctor had tried to calm me down, but I lost it. It was Fiske's. It was his head. I could remember his dirty blonde hair and those blue eyes that were loose from their sockets in the odd liquid surrounding him inside the jar. "Fiske!" I screamed and crawled into a ball in the corner of the office before I cradled myself endlessly. The cold hearted head peace keeper didn't seem moved by my actions.

In fact, he was chuckling to himself.

The doctor looked into the glass and he himself jumped. "Whose head is that?"

"You heard what she said." The head peace keeper replied.

The doctor looked mortified. He had grabbed my arms and dragged my back to my ward in the clinic where I am now writing all this to you from. The doctor had given me many pills, and I can see the countless needles attached to my skin. Fiske hasn't come to see me in a while. I guess you don't need to look for his head in the arena anymore.

From Annie

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A/N: Please tell me what you think. Review if you want. I don't mind.


	3. Part Three

I've been very busy with my social life and my school life so I'm sorry if I haven't updated in ages, but I'll update the next five parts every Friday from now on._  
_

I so do not own anything. Everything belongs to Suzanne Collins.

Part Three

_January 14, XX72_

To my dear friend, Finnick,

I have been kept inside the ward these various past months, and I have been haunted by Fiske's head a during particular moments in my dreams but I am truly alright now. I have spent the seasons in here alone by myself but thank you for the gift and please tell Mags I also say thank you to her for the gifts she have sent me. I have only opened them recently as I was in a much longer coma these past few months.

My doctor and I have talked about why.

"It's the head," He had told me. Fiske's head was the reason for my a coma this time. He then explained everything in much more detail. "Whenever you see something that shocks you, it triggers something that you have seen similar and you go into a state of shock before you pass out. For a normal person, they can wake up in several hours, but the more traumatic it is to them, it would only take a few days. But you wake up after a much longer time, Annie." He told me in a oddly sad tone.

"Do you know why?" I had asked him for an answer but the doctor shook his head.

And then he told me what he told me last time I was in a coma. "It relates to something you have seen back in your childhood."

I don't remember, Finnick, my childhood had always been unclear. And that was even before the games. All I can recall was that my parents were never allowed to see me again and the scars on my back from an accident in the kitchen when my mother had been cooking which led to an incident.

But these are my last words for now.

Finnick, if you would be kind enough to help me clean my room while I am away here, I would be very grateful. And if you could ask Mags to help as well, that would be good too. She knows where I put the key.

From Annie

_February 14, XX72_

To my dear friend Finnick,

Thank you for the chocolates on my porch, although I am afraid the animals have eaten them before I could. It has been exactly one month since I have written to you and I am sorry for the delay of this letter. During the time of my absence, I have been having odd dreams again. But they are not about me. They are about you, I dream of you lingering with many Capitol woman, who I find hardly abnormal but they are telling you things. They are telling you secrets. I laugh whenever I wake up and find myself in my corner instead of my bed. After all they are only just dreams, but deep in my heart I feel as it they are true.

Forgive me for dreaming inappropriate dreams about you but I felt that you had the right to know that I am troubled by the thought.

Fiske has not been around, and I do not dare return to that office. But I will soon as I must let Fiske sleep at least as before he vanished, he had endlessly complained through a series of blood painted words on my walls that he desperately wanted to rest at last. He never spoke but I guess that was fine since I never did like him talking.

The dream I had last night was the final night of the games… I was just drifting off in the water and I felt as if my body could just give away but it didn't since the last cannon was finally heard. The dream was so horrible; I don't like remembering the games.

There's too much blood.

From Annie

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A/N: I will update a week from now. So please feel free to review.


	4. Part Four

Another short chapter but there will be a longer one coming out soon. I'm so sorry.

Disclaimer: I do not own anything. Happy readings.

Part Four_  
_

_March 01, XX72_

To my dear good friend, Finnick,

Thank you ever so much for forgiving my inappropriate dreams, Finnick. Fiske has returned as he sits in the corner of my room as he sulks with his back hunched. I found him there yesterday after a night trip to the ocean looking for a good fish to eat tonight and I would have stayed much longer but I felt that if I had, the ocean would sweep me below and attempt to drown me like the arena.

Fiske has not moved from his corner one bit even as I am writing this now. He has drawn odd shapes and words onto the wall of one of my spare rooms as he paints them with fish blood, I presume. They look like a map but he is refusing to say anything to me.

I really wish to help Fiske rest at last, and I know that I can't do it by myself so I am begging you with all my heart once more, oh please, please, please… Help me steal Fiske's head.

That's all I'm asking for, and I swear I'll never bother you another day ever again about it if you honestly help me retrieve the head safely in one piece.

Honest.

From Annie

_April 30, XX72_

To my unfaithful comrade, Finnick,

I have debated with myself whether I should reply after you refused to help me steal Fiske's head and we both decided to ignore you as if you were another glowing person in my dreams. But after a month of countless scheming and frightening nights, which I am sure you heard, I recalled you had begged me to open your door on fortnight as my screaming had awakened the residents of Victor's Village. But Fiske told me not to. And I agreed.

We had attempted various styles of stealing the head back although whenever I am near that office, I find my body frozen and refusing to walk further than a certain point. So our plans to rob the head are still on pause. But I don't forgive you for being cold and heartless for not helping us.

But we do plan on stealing the head still, without your help or not. I think Mags may help me, but that means I will have to talk to her. In the flesh. Much to my displeasure.

And thank you very much for the April fool's gift, the bottle filled with blood, till this very moment if I must say, are giving me stains on my kitchen floor after I had dropped the bottle in shocked, so yes. I do hope, you come and clean it one day. But only if I let you in though.

But really, Finnick, please come and clean the blood. It really is beginning to frighten me, I reminds me awfully a lot about the bloodbath during the games.

So much blood yet so little people were killed there.

From Annie

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A/N: I hope you enjoyed it.


	5. Part Five

_To my loyal followers... I'm sorry that this is another short chapter, but I wouldn't say so for next week.  
_

_I do not own anything, from the author of this eight part story.**  
**_

Part Five

_May 10, XX72_

To my once again friend, Finnick,

We did it! We stole the head, Finnick. Mags helped me steal it during the night, and we are now on speaking terms. Fiske disappeared the moment I returned his head to his grave, but my dreams are still being invaded by my past, Finnick. I don't know why but I found myself oddly crying at times and then I black out and when I come too. I don't remember anything. So I went to my doctor a week earlier than my daily checkup to find out why.

"They are signs of recovery," He told me. I was very glad to hear that. "But if they take a turn of bad events, the results could be horrible." That news sent a deep chill into my heart.

But the doctor then asked me if I was stilling seeing Fiske, I told him I wasn't. But before he could reply the head peace keeper came and demanded to know if I have seen the head.

"Julius, please," The doctor snarled barely above a whisper. "Not in front of…" He turned back to look at me. The memories of the scene flooded into my mind.

The ambush in the swamp. The net that I was trapped in, the cage they stuffed Fiske into before where they kept him for the night. The bloody beheading Fiske took while he was still alive. Everything came back as if he really was gone. As if the time we spent together these past months were a figment of my imagination, but they weren't. I knew he was alive. I didn't realize I had been screaming until I barely saw a pair of arms lung towards me as I found myself frozen.

"Annie," The doctor had grabbed me by the shoulders and had tried to stop me from passing out as soon as I stopped screaming. But I guess I did. Because I don't seem to remember what happened after that.

So I am now writing to you from my homely ward in the clinic, thank you for the roses. I saw them the moment I woke up, although they were dead. And black. But thank you though, Finnick.

Black roses are like... a gift of death.

From Annie.

_May 17, XX72_

To my good pal, Finnick,

My stay at the ward was short as it was only seven days because I have now returned to my cold, empty home in Victor's village. The dreams I had experienced the past few night was oddly inspiring, it was about someone. Someone who defeated President Snow.

I dreamed of a girl who won the Hunger Games, but not alone. With her district partner. They had used some sort of berries and they tricked the head game maker into letting them both win, but since they were the only two left, they both had to win. The next dream was a sequel, it was a special Hunger Games, the girl was back, but before the game could end, they escaped. It was was a wonderful dream, Finnick.

But the last one was a bit sad.

My final dream was a war, and you died, Finnick. It pains me to lose a good friend like yourself. So please don't die, because then I would have to write to Mags all the time. She will never reply me like you do.

And I am not asking you to not die because I am one of your many lovers no matter how many times you tease me about it in your letters because I do not feel that way about you at all, Finnick. I just see you as a person who I look to for help and comfort.

So thank you. And remember not to over drink or get killed by a Capitol husband.

From Annie.

* * *

A/N: I hope you tune in next Friday for Part Six. (Which I've written out already...)


	6. Part Six

_This is coming to an end in ... two weeks. Yep, two more chapters than done.  
_

_I own nothing!  
_

Part Six

_June 12, XX72_

To my dear savior, Finnick,

I hate myself for what happened to you yesterday.

I will never live it down, I'm so sorry.

I am so sorry that you were slashed for interfering with Julius's punishment for me. Thank you so much for stopping him for slashing my back, but my back still stings with the brutal scars I earned yesterday. It's my entire fault that you were hurt, and I can't believe you risked your life to help me. I'm so sorry your left eye was slashed by accident. Does it hurt? Oh gosh, I nearly got you killed! I'm ever so sorry, Finnick.

I would have come by this morning but this Capitol woman answered the door and scolded me, I ran home crying and, I'm still crying. I don't know how Julius found out it was me. All I did was come home to find him in my living room; the house was colder than usual though and I knew that something bad was going to happen.

There were no glowing people to scare me so I suppose that was meant to be a sign.

"Hello Miss Cresta," He greeted me, he sat in the middle of my living room. "Nice drawings," He pointed to Fiske's bloody plans. I felt as if my heart was tearing through my chest as I stood there, my feet were frozen. He was so scary, Finnick. "So, where is my head?" He asked me.

I didn't get it, Finnick, he said his head. It was on him. "It's on you isn't it?" I had replied him softly as I was frightened for my life. He stood up and laughed but then he punched me in the gut. I yelped as I dropped to the ground. It was like the arena all over again. Pain and more pain.

"Don't play stupid, little girl." He grabbed a handful of my hair as he lifted me off the ground. I felt weak and scared; I could feel my eyes pouring with water. It had hurt so badly, Finnick. So much of my hair was yanked out; I can still feel the bald patches he left on the surface of my skull. "I know you took it, you sneaky little snake." He snarled before he placed his fingers between my cheeks and squeezed them painfully. His nails broke my skin as my blood had begun trickling down my face.

"I didn't do anything wrong," I cried back at him.

Julius snarled as he squeezed my cheeks even tighter. He had left a deep cut on my face, but the doctor said it would recover."So you won't talk, huh?" He whispered into my ear.

Before I had known it, Finnick, Julius had dragged me into the town square and had begun slashing me. I don't know how long it was before you came because the doctor told me I fainted but thank you so much for saving my life. I woke up this morning as the doctor told me I was getting stronger since I didn't go into a coma this time. But I owe you, Finnick.

You saved me from dying and brought me to the doctor, so thank you.

If you ever need anything, please don't be afraid to ask. But what will you do now with the Hunger Games coming so soon, your stylist and admirers will hate me for scarring you face, Finnick. I'm really sorry, I know I've written it already but I do mean it.

Many your pain be gone very soon.

From Annie

_June 14, XX72_

To my dear friend, Finnick,

Thank you for forgiving, thank you so much. I would also like to thank you for replying so quickly, and I'm glad to know that the Capitol has a doctor waiting for you to fix that eye of yours, may the odds honestly be in your favor and may District 4 have another Victor.

I am ever so sorry for dragging you into everything, please forgive me.

I really do need you around, Finnick, so please come back soon and safely.

I need you.

From Annie

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(A/N: Review if you want to.)


	7. Part Seven

I own nothing and this is by far the longest chapter. The one with the most words and the second last chapter._  
_

Part Seven

_August 03, XX72_

To Finnick,

I remember. I remember everything about my childhood, Finnick and I know why my mind is sinking faster into insanity. I was a witness to my brother's murder. My brother was abused by my parents, I was too young to remember all this. But I do now. It all came to me in a dream.

My brother, Jasper, had been continually lashed by my father's belt. It went on like this for days and when I had asked my mother why, she would always say the same thing. "Don't cause any troubles now, Annie. Now be a good ghost." She would have told me, and I did. I was so horrible to Jasper, Finnick. I ignored him as if he wasn't even there. For those countless nights in my childhood, his weeps and pleads played through the scrap house every night until they finally were nothing. I don't remember when it was, but I can still remember why I lost it when I saw Fiske's head fly off. It was exactly the same thing that happened.

My brother had been moaning much too loud for mother to bear any longer, so she snapped at father to silence him. When my father came back, his butcher knife dripped with blood and he held a bottle of whiskey. Father had been extremely drunk, he had not known about what he had done. But mother did. And she freaked out about the consequences.

"You fool, Lawrence!" She had screamed as she let the needles and wool she held onto fall. "We need him for the food from the reaping, Annie is much too young to enter," Jasper had recently turned twelve. "We'll starve now." She yelled at my father whose expression turned sour.

Father had cursed at her as he lost it. "You swine, you never loved me." He pointed the knife at mother, I couldn't watch as I slowly walked to my room. But when I had passed by the tiny box, the once that Jasper lived in, I smelt blood, Finnick, and I opened the box. I can remember that moment, it was the moment that I screamed at what I saw.

Fiske's head had slowly dropped out of the crate as it rolled to my feet. My father had beheaded him. Just like Fiske but that is all I can recall so far.

I couldn't remember what happened after that. It dripped so much blood. His head was beyond recognition. I had mentally scarred my mind as the doctor had said before, I didn't know why I remembered it now, but I dreamt of it.

And I honestly wish I could forget it, Finnick, I really do.

From Annie

_August 05, XX72_

To my dear friend, Finnick,

Good luck this year in the Hunger Games. May the odds be in our favor this year and thank you for the support you have given me, I loved the cookies you have left by my door and I have good news! I have taken your advice and I told my doctor everything. He helped me remember more about my family, Finnick.

And now I remember what happened after that.

After I had found Jasper's head. I had run into the woods screaming until I fell over a log and passed out. My parents had never tried to look as they were too busy trying to dispose of Jasper's body. The family that took care of me while I was in a coma and the same family that waited for me to wake up before they helped me get away from my family. But I didn't seem the matter because as odds would have it, my parents had driven a wrong turn due to my father's drunk driving and headed into the ocean. Father had shoved mother below so that he could save himself as the doctor told me.

They had found the answers all on my parent's body when they examined their bodies the next day they were found. Father never made it as mother grasped his leg; she had hung onto him until her very last breath. Father's dismembered hand caught onto a fishing hook of a fisher man as they soon found the rest of the body parts floating on the surface around the beach.

The lady that took me in was a church lady; she gave me a home until I was chosen for the Hunger Games, Finnick. Up till then, they had tried to make me forget my past which was successful until now. But I really do feel that this new information will help me slightly.

You have been so kind to me, Finnick for the past few months and years. Thank you so much, I miss you being near the house and helping me clean the house. Please come back soon.

From Annie

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(A/N: The story comes to an end next week and for all the reviewers and followers, I will say my thank yous.)


	8. Part Eight

**_This is the final one. There will be a list of people who I want to say thank you to at the end.  
_**

Part Eight

_August 08, XX73_

To my dearly beloved, Finnick,

I feel much better returning from the doctor today for my checkup. And after you told me you'll always be there for me in that last letter, I feel safer now. The glowing people have stopped coming but I am still afraid that they will return. You were right, the new Victor is a nice person. I invited her for tea but she denied. Thus, I was heartbroken, but nevertheless, I am happy that you love me, Finnick. Even if Johanna did decline my offer.

Anyway, I cannot wait for your return from the Capitol; I hope I am not cursing our winning streak. But Finnick, I cannot wait for you to be here, helping me fill this empty house with furniture and items. For you to be telling me funny tales and stories from the Capitol as we sit together as a couple, and I'll have you sleeping beside me every night from now on. So whenever I wake up and cry, you'll be there to tell me everything is going to be alright. That nobody will ever hurt me again. And hopefully nobody will try to ruin our happiness.

Finnick, I love you so much and I don't care what you do in the Capitol because I know that man there is not you. The man you truly are is the one that's always trying to stop me from crying, the man that's kind enough to help Mags move out her stuff and the big brother that helps his family.

That's the real Finnick. And the Finnick I love.

I don't care what the Capitol will do to me. They can shoot me, kill me or drown me but I'll always come back up and make sure that I drag them down to hell with even if I have to. You gave me the reason to continue living.

My reason is you. I love you, Finnick and I never want to let you go.

From Annie

**The End.**

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**I would like to say thank you to the following people for...**

**1. Following:  
**

**ClatoIsReal  
**

**CraazyCresta  
**

**EnchantedWorlds  
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**Pinkbookworm7  
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**rosetigerlion  
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**thetalentlesswriter**

_A/N: Oh my god, thanks you guys for following this story :) _**  
**

**2. Reviewers:**_  
_

**EnchantedWorlds **

_A/N: Thank you EnchantedWorlds for reviewing so many chapters. I felt so happy to know that you've enjoyed this story and you pretty much made my days for sadness.  
_

**CraazyCresta **

_A/N: CraazyCresta, can I just say I love your profile picture! And I'm totally going off topic right now... So yeah, thank you for donating a review in chapter 4. I was glad to know that you loved the first three chapters._**  
**

**Sabrinalovespeeta  
**

_A/N: Hellooo again. Yeah, I'm sorry that I haven't updated TLAM in ages... probably because I got a new computer and my old laptop (Where I kept the latest chapter and my work...) broke and had everything in it.. :( But thank you for reviewing this story!_**  
**

**3. Adding this to their favourites list:  
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**21st-century-rebels  
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**ClatosReal  
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**CraazyCresta  
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**rosetigerlion  
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**thetalentlesswriter  
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_A/N: I love you all so much for adding this to your favourite's list! Oh I feel like passing out right now.. I think I might. But here's my final to words..._**  
**

_"THANK YOU!"  
_

_And that is for everyone who is reading this story.  
_

_:) And goodbye.  
_


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